Most women, given the opportunity, will blame their misguided notions of romance on the Disney movies, which taught them to look for a prince they would know from their dreams and his white horse. They may too lay fault with those winsome leading ladies with surnames that sound like men's first names (Roberts or Ryan) or means of inducing impotence (Bullock or Witherspoon). These women showed us a world in which beautiful men with two first names are unassuming and principled purveyors of the written word.
These romps through fantasy and folly are not my downfall, however. The devious, dastardly screenwriter responsible for my epically unrealistic expectations of the dating scene is none other than Aaron Sorkin. Not only does he play to my secret desire to cause political scandal and shake up American politics with my romantic endeavors, he lures me in with rapid-fire, vocabulary-intense dialogue that makes me think what I'm watching is deeply thoughtful and high-minded. Philosophical even.
But Aaron pulls the same tricks as the Nora Ephrons of the world, on an even grander scale. She made you want a witty New Yorker who just needed the love of a good woman? He made me want a man who would risk his journalistic and political career because he found my insults to his character and competence endearing. A man who would send me absurd tokens of his love at work. A man who would come to see the brilliance of my well-justified political opinion and stand up for me and for love before a rapt American populace to defend truth, honor, justice, and reduced fossil fuel emissions. He's humble and eager to please in bed and controls the 82nd Airborne (though he is loathe to use violence).
If you've got five minutes, watch this speech, and tell me you don't want to get in his presidential pants.
And keep a look out for that man for me. I'm right here in DC, and my six home states and many favorite foods and flowers make me very convenient to woo. Just send over some gerber daisies with that nice Marine regiment you've got and it's a date.
